For two summers during Uni, in desperate need of money, I found myself trying to earn a bit of cash working as a chamber maid at my local hotel back in my hometown.
Let me just start by saying it was bloody hard work. In the first month I did the job, I lost a stone from carrying around bundles of laundry and running up and down stairs. I had to get up at a ridiculous hour to get into the rooms while the guests were having their breakfast. By the time I left the job, I was able to change a double bed in less than two minutes.
But being a chamber maid also teaches you that there are some pretty gross people in the world. It makes you a little wary of ever staying in a hotel again. It means that I now annoy everyone I know by always being super clean in hotel rooms.
Here are a few things you should never do in hotel rooms, from experience.
Lie in bed and throw biscuits at the wall.
Leave Babestation on as the last TV Channel you were watching.
Hide your used condoms.
Cum in a glass that doesn’t belong to you.
One of the worst rooms I ever cleaned didn’t appear to be all that bad to start with. I started with the bedroom, and moved onto the living room. I turned the TV on to find one of the porn channels. Already a bad omen – see above. The floor was covered in empty packets of Roses chocolates in a perfect circle, with two glasses at the end of the end of the circle. I started picking up the rubbish, only then to notice that one of the glasses was filled with a suspicious white liquid. Part of me was like yeah, whatever floats your boat, whatever gets you off. The other part of me despairs that they couldn’t have cleaned up their own happy time.
Leave cocaine in a drawer.
I’m pretty sad that this even needs to be said, but it really does. It happened to many times.